Immersed in a load of radical revelation

Well its been a whirlwind month and a half. My family took a step of faith and moved from Maui to Honolulu, HI. If you would have asked us 6 months ago if this was our plan we would NOT have said yes.. but the Lord knows what He has in store for us if we are willing to hear Him and be obedient. We were sad to leave our friends, YWAM Maui, our 5 minute walk to the beach, the lifestyle of Maui, etc, but we could not shake the fact that we had recieved this Macedonian call from Honolulu. It was a rough start as our kitty decided not only to throw up on the plane but roll around in it until we touched ground. A group of 5 staff picked up a family running fromk bathroom to bathroom trying to clean the kitty.. we weren't too succesful as the whole way to our new home we would get strong whiffs of cat puke....

We seemed to survive that night and ever since have been in awe of the "rightness" of us moving here. We cannot deny the peace that has invaded our life as we have launched out as a family in missions.

Bryan is working in maintenance, and has been a tremendous blessing here.. as he is a jack of all trades and will figure out what needs to be done to fix something.He is a man that is blessed with creative and artful skills. He helped the base director by laying tile in their new home and will be helping our new pastor in another tiling endeavor soon. He is getting accustomed to community life and all that that brings

Kieva has made new friends with kids on the base and loves having friends to play with all the time!!! He is loved here and thinks that all the aunties and uncles are here to play with him and love him....they do a great job at both!!

I have been immering myself in the word and in time with the Lord. as we draw closer to the beggining of this Prayer Seminar I am in awe of what the Lord is doing in my life. Once again filling me up with an insatiable hunger to spend time with Him just for the sake of His loveliness, We have 7 students as of today and are still recieiving phone calls and confirmations daily!!

The Lord let us know that this seminar was not about numbers or even big name speakers that would bring a large crowd but instead about those that have captured the understanding that more time in the presence of the Lord equals a greater Kingdom perspective. This equals out to greater love for our GOd and one another.. the first commandment. It also boils over into hearts filled with mercy and compassion, a willingness to give of ones whole self to the obedience of Christ and an eye for beauty that we cannot attain without Him.

I am excited to see what He is going to rock us a s a school and give us more radical revelation of Himself.

We serve a God that is absolutelyy amazing... a restoring, forgiving, loving, creative, wonderful God who has bent over backwards to communicate with us. I encourage you.. take some time today and bask in His presence.. there is only good thins waiting for you there!!

Load of a preschooler's clothes...

I love my son.. I mean, in itself this is an obvious statement... but I really really love him. It's as if we are going through a season of new appreciation. I love his little face.. his laugh.. his humor.. I love that he tries to be a jokester and that he is full of Joy the moment his eyes open in the morning. "The sun's up mom.. c'mon it's time to get up.. Can I have popcorn for breakfast? Do you think my show's on? MOM!!! I gotta pee.. can you get up with me please? " I love that he is a fish in water.. can skateboard and has a favorite "surf spot" Laniopoko.... I love that he greets everyone along the way of our walks through town... and that he is a man of tradition. We ALWAYS have to high five the plastic santa on the sidewalk and give him the "knuckles". We cannot miss it.. I love who the Lord has woven him together to be. I love getting butterfly kisses from him and hearing him say " Mom.. I love you!" for no other reason then to see me smile at him. I love that he loves to clean with me.. and I love when he sings worship songs while hip hop dancing... Lord .. help me to be the mom Kieva needs to bloom and shine.. for your kingdom and for your Glory.. Thank you for making him..crazy...but oh so delightful.

sweet smelling gratitude

Thank you Lord for your provision.. Thank you that when we doubt You it doesn't shake you up a bit. Thank you that you chase us with mercy and gladness. Thank you that you dream greater dreams for our life then we ever could. Thank you that when others give up on us You continue to come with Your truth, Your discipline.. and Your blessing. Thank you that You pursue.. and thank you that when we are so tired from lifes injustice, from our own imperfections, from others imperfections, and from miracles not yet happened You whisper beautiful truths in our ear....if we could only listen the first time and rest in the assurance of You .. oh how different would our lives be?! Lord.. to you be the Glory.. You take us from the ashes.. You deliver us from death, You turn our mourning into dancing....Only You.. Only You.

Load of Passion

Well . I am not doing so hot on this New Years resolution of writing on this thing once a month.. and I thought I was giving myself so much time.. ARGH!!!! but here I am once again.. Wondering.. Waiting.. Wanderlusting... (sigh)

I am wondering about passion...

I was listening to Beth Moore talk to young women in their early 20's and she asked them.. "Are you passionately pursuing the passions of your heart?" I was cleaning Kieva's playroom... micromanaging it, as my husband says... putting all the little animals with little animals, and balls with balls, and race cars with race cars when she dared to pose this question via podcast... and I stopped and said.. "Well.. not at this moment!!!!!!"

Are YOU passionately pursuing the passions of your heart? My first response is .. NO .. I am not.. When I think of passionately pursuing something I always envision myself in college.. or in SBS.. Then I think of myself as teaching, motivating others to draw as close to the Lord as possible in principle, in emotion, and in action. But am I passionately pursuing that? Man, I don't think so.. How do you balance passionate pursuit of that and being a good wife and being a good mom?

I even know some who would say that my passion should be my family... and they are.. I long to passionately love my husband in the way that I am called to.. to encourage, to respect, to help.... and to passionately love my son.. to bring him up not only in the principles of the Word but in an environment where he knows that he is loved and valued. But there is something missing in all of this..

My greatest desire still is that I would be hungry for God more then anything else in my life. Hungry to know Him intimately.. hungry to allow HIS tangible presence not only to encounter me at anytime and in anyplace but for that Presence to encounter those around me at anytime and anyplace. Am I truly passionate about that?! Sometimes I wonder.. I know there are times when I am passionate about being passionate....

So I am waiting .. again.. We say on outreach that we rush to wait.. and I feel that is what I am doing.. I am rushing to be ready and I am waiting .. waiting for the answers.. waiting on the Lord until He answers my questions about priorities, waiting to see the doors that He opens and the ones He shuts.... Waiting for His perfect timing and His timing is always interesting to me.

This year has been one of the toughest yet for our family. We continue to walk through battlegrounds that I wish not on any other person . And yet I have seen the Lord open doors to the desires of my heart this year. He says NOW.. and I say "Now?!" and then He repeats " NOW. " He continues to amaze me with His perspective... I had the privilege of speaking in the DTS here in Maui, and in a DTS in Kona, and then a for a DTS based in Oahu but outreach prepping in Kuaui.... All very radical. It's like standing beside yourself and seeing the Lord working through you and wondering if its real or not. On my flight to Kuaui I said "Lord, this has to be ALL you. I have nothing to give." in HIS perspective He knew what awaited those students and staff.. HIM. As we watched the tangible presence of the Holy Spirit bring revelationa after revelation we all stood back and said "Our God is ALWAYS on time and NEVER late" Ashes into cries of Jubilation, Mourning into dancing, Anxt into peace ... I am feeling the rumbling of change under my feet...

but again I am reminded.. no matter where I stand.. or no matter where those rumblings take our family... only passionate pursuit of Christ causes true and good fruit to be brought forth. The Wanderlust can take you anywhere but HIS presence can take us everywhere.. to places we did not even know existed...

A whole new world....

For the last month and a half I have been living in a whole new world.. It's called the Census Bureau!!!!! I was truly blessed with this job as my husband has beeen struggling to find any sort of stone or even tile work. It has been what I call " a soft landing" from the YWAM world that I am use to, and believe me I am very very thankful for that.
The first four weeks were CRAZY!!! My family was trying to adjust to me being gone.. my son would hang on my leg every morning and beg me not to leave.. and my husband was trying to figure out what his new role in this whole thing was... It has been good for all us though... it has given us better understanding of what the other is walking through all day long and I think my little son not only appreciates his time with mommy more but also loves all the beach, fishing, and fort making time that he is getting with daddy.
I continue to appreciate any of you who have supported me and my family, in the past, with YWAM or are supporting us at this time. I appreciate your hard earned dollar and all the love that goes into your support of what God is doing through me and my family at this base.
I have scaled down my responsibilities this quarter from the past quarters. The last few quarters I have had the pleasure of running two growth groups and walking alongside the young women here who are maturing and progressing in their relationships with the Lord. I am meeting with three young women who are some of the main leaders on the base and this is proving to be such a different time. Because I have had relationship with each of them for years it is so easy for us to go deep and call out the Godly potential in one another. I am blessed by these young women who are real and honest and so desiring Godly perspective.
My Census Job will end in about two or three weeks and then I am not going to know what to do with myself!!! I have one friend who continues to let me know that I need to start support raising again and that is in the forefront of my mind. I know I am called to missions.. I know the Lord has amazing things for us as a family.. and yet which step do we take first?
We are still in the middle of "transition" in our family life. I appreciate Mike Bickle and his thoughts on transition and that this "phase " can last many many years. I can truly say that I am ready for this transition to be over and for us to move forward.. whatever that means.
I believe that from this time my husband and I will be able to understand what vision the Lord has for us as a family. We are still believing that we will be in Kona soon.. but what "soon" looks like.. we are still not sure of.. Our hope is Him and knowing Him in the depths..... sometimes the cliff jump into the depths can be breathtaking and heartstopping... but we are willing to take that plunge.. Prepare us for the next part of this "transition"

Focusing on the laundry already washed

Literally I have about 10 loads of laundry that must be done by the end of this weekend. I feel like if I am not on that pile it just gets overwhelming.. and its so the same in my spiritual life. I realize that too many times I store my dirty spiritual laundry in a pile and then I bring it all up to the Lord on that one fateful day that I can't take it anymore.
I woke up tonight to talk with the Lord about so many things I didn't even know where to begin.. so I did what I have to do with 10 loads.. I started the sorting process. This "fear" in the "fear pile". Then I found some items that belonged in the "angst" pile and so on and so forth. Once it was all put into the right piles it actually did not seem as overwhelming and I felt like I could actually get through it.
Isn't it funny though, we still have to choose to pick up those baskets and take them to the machines.. load them in with the proper detergents and push the "start" button. I find that even sometimes I sort the pile and then don't pick up each basket and hand then to the Lord but instead i just keep the there until tomorrow.. when I am not so tired or not so overwhelmed by the smell.
So as i was depositing my laundry in that ever faithful machine that washes every piece of dirt away I was just thinking about how many piles of this laundry that my God has been faithful in washing and cleansing. There have been times in my life when every pile was soaked with so much stench that i am surprised there was anything redeemable there. In His laundry mat I can bring clothes that have grease stains that are too big for "spray and wash" and I can put ripped up items, and stretched out things and when I take them out of the dryer they are not only as good as new.. but they look like they were just purchased. So crisp and shiny none would ever know that there was a rip, stain, or stretch anywhere.
So as I handed my fears and angst.. as i filled that washing machine with my tears and declarations I was reminded of how faithful and He has been all these years, not only to me but to all of the friends around me.
We serve an amazing awesome God is so for us we cannot even begin to comprehend Him. He so desires for us to bring every grimy and unfix able thing in out lives and hands us back garments that are more beautiful then before. That fit better then we could ever imagine.
In the midst of it... I will keep my eyes on the prize, Jesus Christ. He has NEVER failed me nor left. He is always available to hear my thoughts, ideas, fears, laughter, hopes, dreams, and even disappointments. He ALWAYS let me trade in my perspective for His..
So though I still have about 10 loads to physically take to the laundry mat I have taken all ten loads of my spiritual life to Him.. He even put my clothes on the gentle cycle.. and already has begun to hand them back to me.. full of beautiful fragrance and cleaner then ever before.
So Lord I just say"thank you" that You are for me and not against.. I declare again that I will not hear that old voice that says that I my clothes are too dirty or beyond repair and I will keep bringing them to you and trusting that your ever faithful and gentle hand. Thank you that my spiritual clothing closet is so full of freshly washed garments..
"Where else does my help come from?"

Valentines

Thank you Kieva for being my son. I love that you can be so sick yet so funny and still so willing to laugh and have a good time.. wish we could have gotten daddy in the photos!!! Happy Valentines to us .. the sickies